Adventures in Africa: Part 12 - OBSERVATIONS

OBSERVATIONS

I was walking this evening, and it suddenly occurred to me that there are some things I haven't seen or heard since arriving in Uganda two months ago. This is not a judgment or indictment in any way....just an observation.

1. planes flying overhead
2. trains
3. robins, bluejays, or any other birds I'm used to seeing
4. McDonalds, Starbucks, or any other American franchise
5. oranges that are actually orange in color


Things I LOVE about Uganda:

1. the dark nights where street vendors still have candles lit and people continue walking along the road (see video clip below)
2. the people -- the friendliest people on the planet
3. the climate -- temperatures mostly in the 70s year-round
4. the children
5. the dignity of people who may be living in hopeless situations



Things I've seen here in Uganda that I had never seen back home:

1. people walking around carrying dead chickens they just purchased
2. vendors walking around selling fried grasshoppers as a snack
3. traffic jams with motorcycles, bicycles, and pedestrians winding through
4. a bug that looks like the "golden snitch" from Harry Potter
5. everyone well dressed and looking extremely well groomed
6. thousands of black people and I'm the only white one in the crowd
7. goats wandering along the roadside
8. huge, waist-high vulture birds
9. young men riding bicycles stacked with 8 crates of soda pop to sell, or carrying huge truck tires, or a mattress or bed frame, or long poles of metal re-bar, or several large sacks full of charcoal, or several big bunches of plantains for matooke
10. a driver, plus two adult riders and two children all on ONE motorcycle
11. brooms with no handles
12. matooke (the main food eaten here)


Things I will never take for granted again when I get back home to the United States:

1. fresh air
2. drinkable, good tasting, safe and free tap water
3. freeways, freeway lighting, road signs, painted lines on roads
4. stop signs, stop lights, sidewalks, relatively few potholes
5. electrical power 24 hours a day
6. fast internet
7. a variety of restaurants with different ethnic foods available
8. getting to choose which pieces I get when I order fried chicken
9. ordering food and not fearing food poisoning
10. cold milk
11. free education
12. variety of breads and other foods
13. stores with new clothing rather than used, dirty leftovers from thrift stores from other countries
14. excellent medical care
15. the U.S. Post Office and postal service that actually DELIVERS
16. reliable garbage, recycling, sewage, utilities services

Adventures in Africa: Part 6 - COMEDY in UGANDA

COMEDY IN UGANDA!

I've been so fortunate that three comedy troupes have invited me to perform with them! What an amazing opportunity and huge honor! Comedy in Uganda is totally different than in the USA, and none of my jokes from home would have worked here. I have been writing all news jokes every week for my performances with Brain Wash Comedy at Efindy's in Centenary Park. The set I did with Crackers Comedy at Theatre La Bonita was televised on N-TV. I also had a wonderful time performing with the sketch comedy group Fun Factory at Hotel Africana. I try to use as much Luganda and Runyankole language as possible in my jokes, which really surprises the audiences. Here are some excerpts from some of my performances:

SLEEPING AROUND (Moments from a Road Comic's Life)

I've now been a road comic for more than five years. As I look back on my career so far, the time spent on stage has been amazing! But on the nights when there's no show while on the road, finding a place to sleep has been just as....memorable.

As mentioned in an earlier post, bookers and clubs usually only provide lodging on the nights you have a show. Unless you can find gigs for the other nights, comics are left to their own devices to find a place to stay.

Even the least expensive dive motel is going to empty $40 a night out of your earnings. Multiply that by five, and you could spend $200 for lodging on the non-show nights each week. Add to that the cost of car rental, gas, food, and airfare -- well, it doesn't take a math whiz to figure out that a feature act who makes $100 per show is going to have a tough time covering expenses. Forget about actually MAKING any money -- I feel blessed if I manage to break even!

So I sleep in my car. Here's the routine: Fly to the Midwest (or East Coast, or South, or wherever I have a few weeks of shows lined up), pick up my rental car, and drive to Walmart to buy a $5 blanket and a $3 pillow for those nights when I need to sleep reclining in the driver's seat of the car.

"No, Sharon!! That's dangerous!!" I can hear you screaming in horror. Well, here are some other alternatives I've tried:

* Posted an ad on Craigslist in the town where I was going to be, looking for a couch to sleep on. When the guy didn't show up at the appointed time...or ever...I was stuck with nothing.

* Met a sweet, well dressed elderly woman in a park who kindly invited me to sleep on her couch. Turns out she's a hoarder...with a dog that isn't potty trained (the stench!)...and a colony of mice that scuttled around all night.

* Was smuggled onto an army base, so I could stay in the empty women's barracks for three nights. This was perfect, except for feeling guilty about evading national security and risking being thrown in jail if discovered.

* A couple playing pool at the table next to mine offered to get me a hotel room and give me $100...if they could spend the night with me. Ew. No.

* Sometimes comics in other parts of the country will let you sleep on their couches. Which would be great, if they weren't mostly bachelors...who apparently have a lower gag threshold than I do when it comes to cleanliness. I'm actually not all that picky, but a bathtub ring is one thing; a totally gray bathtub that's supposed to be white is another. And using a back issue of Penthouse for toilet paper just seems.....weird.

The only real drawback to occasionally sleeping in my car, other than the obvious lack of safety and a shower, is the embarrassment of being awakened at 3am by a cop banging his flashlight on my window, asking me what the heck I think I'm doing.

A small sacrifice when following your dream.